[Through The Grinning Teeth of The Cheshire Cat]

This is the day that forever is in my heart. If I had one wish, I would wish everyday to be Halloween. Free candy, lots of parties, everyone is cheery, and the enviroment outside-- beautiful.

Ok, I'm going to try to make this as quick as possible,

I've finally stopped vomitting, but right now I have a bad fever. I probably won't have to go to the hospital, but we'll see what the night brings.

Xisty, I got your note, thank you so much-- I'll try and call you tomorrow, but if I can't get up, will Sunday be okay?

So, I was totally prepped to go into work today. Yeah. Got around, got my hair *somewhat* decent. I mean, it atleast reflected how I feel. Or rather, felt.
I could feel that angry tingly pain in my stomach, but tried to ignore it. I felt it all night while I slept and brushed it off and just tried to get some good sleep. Shouldn't have ignored it. It made darn sure I knew it was there when it started throbbing and I had to lie down. Then, sure as heck *VOM*. I threw up. My own freaking fault-- I'm so stupid for eating fast food when I KNEW darn well it would make me sick. But I was so hungry and it sounded so good I thought,
"Eh, I feel good. It'll probably just pass and I'll be okay."
Nope. Stupid me. I'm such a pig. And now my stomach hurts like all get-out, and there's stomach acid caught up in my throat-- uck. I'm so tired of being sick.
Joey's mom just got over the stomach flu-- so I'm wondering if it might just be that. I mean, I know I have a pre-existing condition but, I usually don't get really crazy fevers like I have now.

And thank you so much Joey, for taking care of me-- and buying me soup and taters and verners. I love you.

I'm going to sleep. Guh.

Okay, okay, I know you guys think I'm bad when it comes to tamas, but this is the BEST--

Here

Savour the last two paragraphs.

The title says it all, and I'm putting this out there, and being forthright.

I was told many a times that-- I, "beat-around-the-bush". When I finally stopped doing so, there was more uproar than when I did.
Let's get one thing straight; I am not the person I was over a year ago. It's a fact, and if it's a difficult pill to swallow you're in for a unpleasant suprise.

Secondly, there are a few things I would really like to clarify. Coming from my own words I think is best...
There have been words passed about through moments of heated despute, I understand that and forgive it. It's in the past and all of us are through that period... But I don't appreciate this saying of me being, "crazy". It is a vicious rumour spread to (obviously) the wrong people. These "people" took it as a juicy piece of gossip they could smear about in order to get to me.
Yes, I did have a very brief emotionally distressful period for a month or so. And really, for all that I've delt with, I think I held up a lot better than those who spread those lies, if they had been in my place. God forbid that ever happen-- and I also have faith in myself which is much stronger than bitter jealousy.

Next-- I am not friends any longer with a certain someone, (And to those who may be most concerned, you know who I'm talking about and that's all that matters--) because of many, many reasons. Nothing really that had much to do with past "baggage" but-- because I realized I did not need negativity in my life so severe, that I was truely hindered by it. A friendship is not based on a competition, and cruel backstabbing is not my idea of a, "deep conversation."
I was polite and wished this person the best of luck and said nothing more. Really, I would have totally forgotten about her, had she not been trying so desperatly to, "get under my skin." And I'll admit, she struck a nerve with a few things-- recently.
Truth is, if she is dieing so badly to know what I think and say of her, she needs to stop being spineless and ask me herself. -I- will tell her. If she asks anyone else anything about me, you can tell her that is a personal message from me. Other than that, I'd like to hear nothing about it, and as friends I think that is a very small request.
I think it says a lot about her character the way she has carried things on this past year.
And to my friends... let's make this public and clear: I don't care if you hang out with her at all. That's your choice, and what kind of person or friend would -I- be if I were unfair enough to stop you? It's no secret, and it never has been... so all this silly, "let's hang out in secret because-- Jacqui can't know--" stuff is well... just that, stuff. I really don't care, lol ^__^

Lastly... There has been some crazy gossip and lots of back-talking people in our OWN group... I've been thinking about it a lot lately... and I think it would be best to stop. Let's love eachother and comfort one another. Let's stop exaggerating and telling lies.... instead of cutting someone down, let's hope for their best and hold them up.
We're friends guys, let's show it and be proud of it...
Starting NOW.
I'm very happy with my life, and all of my wonderful friends and family... I don't want that to change. Ever.

"Hands"

If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we're all OK
And not to worry 'cause worry is wasteful
And useless in times like these
I won't be made useless
I won't be idle with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
For light does the darkness most fear
My hands are small, I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
Poverty stole your golden shoes
It didn't steal your laughter
And heartache came to visit me
But I knew it wasn't ever after
We'll fight, not out of spite
For someone must stand up for what's right
'Cause where there's a man who has no voice
There ours shall go singing
My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
I am never broken
In the end only kindness matters
In the end only kindness matters
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
We are never broken
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's mind
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's heart
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's eyes
We are God's hands
We are God's hands

Went to Ren-Fest. Had a livid blast. Livid... blast... can I accurately use those together?
Maybe...

Anyways, had a great time. We (Joey and I) dressed up all fun like. The day before we spent time together getting his Jack Sparrow costume together. Eeeeeerrriiiiieee. He looks just like him. We had many a people stop and take our pictures. Reporters too. Him especially ^__^
I got a lovely lorel. I'll have to get pictures up. Saw lotsa friends there too, I'll have to post some piccies from that.

So... other than that, still moving stuff around-- yay. I love being out.

Picture this Terry, YOU... flying high across the landscape of Le Florida... sipping your glass of bubbly.... and the breeze in your hair. *ahhh*

So I've been thinking about... everything lately.

I've been thinking a lot about how I'm not getting along so well with people that I used to be such good friends with-- and how I feel like I'm slowly drifting out to sea.

I would never want to grow apart from the people I love. It's not some severe episode of detatchment, and it's not an intentional act of cruelty. It's not even... just a stage of growth. It's nessicary. I am going to be honest. Truthful. Then maybe I won't have to explain anything anymore... people can just simply see for their selves and be... "okay".

I'm sick of hearing people back-stab. I'm tired of people saying, "Why would someone say that junk about you? That's crazy." No one believes it, because it's not true. And when people finally realize I don't care, hopefully they'll get over it and stop. For their sake I hope they move on... I can't imagine being that upset for that long. And certainly, if anyone had that severe of a problem... they are more than welcome to talk to me about it. But expect honesty. I'm not here to sugar-coat, so deal. Not to say I won't be a courieous human being.

My life is so much better, so much more simple. I couldn't be happier. Life really has been good.

I've been getting these emails lately... they're hilarous. Yeah... got this one today a few minutes ago, titled, "Persistance." At first I got them with weird picture attatchments for some kind of spam thing. (Investor crap) But now they've evolved into these crazy stories that seem to be written by foreign people, lol.

"His rôle had been the godlike suppression ofrebellious disorders. He was still convinced of therightness of his ideas but the godlike rôle had shrunken to theheroic. Further combined tactical operations there were none. Imperceptibly the energy of the conflict ebbed.
Wide spaces of slowly heaving sea litteredwith rocking débris were revealed.
Guns were stillfiring, but now like the afterthoughts of a quarrel and likebelated repartees. Beyond and out of hearing were typists andother copyists. It was appalling toconsider the odds against that now isolated garrison. The inertias of British foreign policy were tremendous. The Rodney, her chief antagonist,shared her ill luck. What did such and suchcommander know when he gave this or that order?
There seems to be a special fuss about him. This huge cold intervention was indubitably welcome to the nowexhausted combatants. There seems to be a special fuss about him. His intonationstrangely enough was exactly what a scholarly imperialist wouldexpect it to be.
The Decree of Public Safety was now the law of the land.
Wevegot to have the situation settled here and now. That will just repeat the situation off Ireland, said thePresident.
There were alsosome minutes of overlap with the kindred questions of Australia andSouth Africa. When webuilt a fleet we meant it to be a fleet. Yetthere may have been an element of amazement still, even in the lastmoments of Greig and Semple."

*sighs* Today is only beginning and it's all ready a long one.

I'm still tired, despite lots of sleep. I suppose it didn't help that, being purely out of habit, I set my alarm for 5:00 am. Woke up, and had a heck of a time falling back asleep. (Go figure, the day I can sleep in, right?)
Finally woke back up around 10-ish. Got up. Got around. Fussed with a shirt I bought yesterday that's cute as heck but far too long. It looks more like a nightgown unfortunatly. If I wasn't so curvy, I don't think it would look as odd, but it does. Lol. I have to shorten it. Ugh.

Forgot my phone back at home too. Blast. If you need to get a hold of me, message me here or just email me. Either works. Yay.

I think I might lay down now, and rest. Yay for rest.

Yay! I made a new lj, for a fresh new start. *squee*

It's late. I'm tired. I update later.